When you can have everything in life, you have to be very careful of what you want.
Gue ga gitu rajin Shalat. Tapi orang tidak bisa membengkokkan keyakinan gue akan Tuhan dan agama gue.
Gue terbata bata baca Al Quran, tapi tidak ada yang bisa menggoyahkan keyakinan gue akan kitab suci gue.
Anehnya, Tuhan cukup baik kepada gue.
Banyak hal yang gue inginkan, pada akhirnya gue dapatkan.
Walaupun, banyak juga hal yang gue harapkan tidak terjadi pada gue (bahkan nggak kepikiran sama sekali) tetep aja terjadi pada diri gue.
Gue nggak tahu apakah itu yang dinamakan keyakinan atau bukan.
Gue ga tau apakah yang selama ini gue lakukan adalah yang sebenarnya dikatakan sebagai ”Law of Attraction” dalam buku The Secret.
Hell, as far as i know, what they preach in The Secret is nothing new.
Dari dulu gue diajarin, kalau berdoa yang detil.
Kalau ingin sesuatu, pikirkan cara mendapatkannya dan yakinkan diri.
Tadi pagi gue nonton CNN dan Larry King kedatangan tamu tamu yang menunjukkan bahwa motivasi diri, keyakinan dan kekuatan pikiran adalah sesuatu yang bukan saja sangat kuat, tapi juga sangat scientific.
Betapa banyak karunia yang gue rasakan.
Sedihnya juga banyak, dan biasanya mengendap dalam bentuk dendam (ya, gue pendendam, tapi biarlah ini jadi topik yang berbeda di posting yang berbeda).
Tapi karena mungkin gue sering kali berpikir yang positif maka lebih terasa hal hal baik yang menimpa gue.
Sekali lagi, apa yang biasanya gue inginkan, pada akhirnya terjadi pada diri gue.
Termasuk, hal hal yang sebenarnya tidak baik bagi gue.
If i want something, i will have it.
I always have, and probably always will.
Belakangan ini, fakta diatas cenderung membuat gue takut ketimbang senang.
….
I am very weak.
The one thing i know i cant conquer, is my own self.
And when I want something (I shouldn’t have) im afraid I might get it eventually.
Especially when I want it so bad.
Gue selalu berdoa kepada Tuhan untuk diberikan keyakinan dalam pengambilan keputusan, dan semoga keputusan itu yang terbaik bagi gue.
Tapi ditengah tengah momen pengambilan keputusan, kadang gue merasa…
Setan lebih dekat ke kuping gue, daripada Tuhan.
….
Tuhan, tolong aku…
Hidupku berharga…
Jangan biarkan aku merusaknya…
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